and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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