His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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