I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
