that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
