Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
