You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize