im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
