I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I could fuck to npr.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
