Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize