I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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