i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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