yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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