Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
