the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
