Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
