dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
