i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
