You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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