I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
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