So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
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i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
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If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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