He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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