i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
