No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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