Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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