Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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