There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
