I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
