Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
