We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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