I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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