i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
