Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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