Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
