So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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