the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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