it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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