Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
