every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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