Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
