i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
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Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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