i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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