why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
