it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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