Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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