We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
