I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
