Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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