Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
