Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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