Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
