Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I am mentally ready for anal.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
