she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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