so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
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