you guys were way drunker than both of me
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
