So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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