D3 body, D1 cock
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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